As i mentioned in my previous post I am going through some very difficult times in my personal life.
I called Derek my partner in crime for this journey to 100 miles to talk about what is going on and how it will impact our
training for Pine to Palm 100.
We spoke of course directly about my personal struggles but we also spoke on the macro level of struggle that is life.
My life, Derek's life are no different from anyone else's in history. There is failure,both personally but also from those around us. There is pain
that can bring you to your knees. There is also victory and progress that can make you fly as high as the clouds. Those victories at first glance would suggest that is where the most satisfaction, the most hope and wholeness would come from. But I would suggest that those victories and progress would only come from the soil of pain and struggle.
This brings me to the conclusion that victory and progress are no more joyful or satisfying than the greatest pains and struggles we feel/face in life.
Indeed the emotional pain I am in right now brings me to my knees. I do not like it one bit. It strips me of peace and of contentment. But it also gives me clear direction. It gives me passion to fight. The opportunity to exercise the will to go on and look for that progress and victory that so eludes me in my current situation.
This race that Derek put on his calendar that I by chance became interested in long before this emotional upheaval, has taken on new meaning. Both Derek and this race are a blessing in my life and are about to unfold over time. I know inside this will be a cleansing, a journey to purity mind. A journey to progress and victory. It will be medicine to hang on. Our passion driven by pain.
The pain I now feel will be the soil, Derek my water and god the gardener. Yes there are other things in my life that come into play. But for the sake of this blog and keeping to what it is about … I will just have to leave some things unsaid.
Into the dark soil Derek and I will go during this time and from the dark soil we will emerge blessed by the pain showered in victory and progress.
_jess
I don't know what you're going through, but this passage was pretty inspiring. It seems like you have the spirit to get through whatever comes your way.
ReplyDeleteBy some sort of grace, a lot of inner struggle I go on. I am not special by any means. Just a human trying to use up the time I have as efficiently and fruitful as possible. Death stalks us all.
ReplyDeleteTake care of what you have.