Like Water

Of course I have ideas of how the coming months of my life shall go. Thoughts of I will do this, I will do that. More than ever today I realized this is just not how it is. I can tell you my body is not where I thought it would be right now. My thoughts are not what I expected. My emotions are mixing in such a way that I come up with more questions than answers.

I personally find it hard to hold on to anything when everything is constantly moving. Life is moving even if I am not. Being bound to life, in not moving I actually am. Just as I had no choice in being brought into this rather strange concept of life so am I bound to it's constant movement. Tumbling like water down a steep mountain grade bumping from rock to rock.

I felt like water bumping into rocks tumbling down a mountain side yesterday. Unable to stop, I constantly pushed forward not fully understanding why. One person to the next one step in front of the other my body cut through the dimensions I have been built to move in. Overwhelmed with the abstract reality of life. I do not understand. In order to keep perspective I needed to accept the not understood so as to not loose focus becoming tied up in it's mystery.

As I am being moving through the journey down the mountain tumbling from rock to rock seemingly haphazardly I suspect there will come a time when the mystery is pulled back even for just a moment to reveal the reality that has been such an unknown to me. The not understood makes sense. I needed to tumble to be purified. I needed to flow to come to a place I did not know could be.

The end spilling into a lake of the unknown a stillness will come. A time to think and see. All around me other waters who have also spilled becoming more than we could have been alone. A home for others to dwell. Doing what we were prepared for, an unknown we knew so well.

I am spilling down the mountain side right now. Each rock I bump into reminds me that I do not understand. But I am hoping of that lake I will eventually land.

The video that is part of this post is the "flowing" which I do not understand. Every time I listen to Coco Rosie they seem to make in music many of the feelings I have about the "flow" of life and how it is a mystery. So unique at times I can only sit back in wonder saying nothing.