Food for Thought

Over the last several days I have waffled from unbridled hope to a barren wind blown low with no hope in sight. I am doing my best to exercise the long term vision of training. Hoping in the unseen resting in doing what I am capable of doing at the moment. But I have to be honest I keep wondering at my current running ability how will I EVER get back to my previous running ability and then some??

This type of thinking has stalked me like a starving animal in the night. I had one of the toughest workouts  on the stairclimber last night that I have ever had. But just when I was about to break,give up and bag it for the day a friend of mine who is actually the one who got me into racing plopped down next to me on the other stairclimber and said Howdy and I said Hi! Jeremy was just the person I needed to see at that very moment. What a gift his smiling face and conversation was. I finished my work out hurting but strong.

Then after this mornings weight lifting session while driving to work I had these feelings of "how pathetic am I to think what I am doing now will even remotely help me reach the goal of running not only 100 miles but winning the race. I kept pushing those thoughts off knowing even if they were true what good did they do me? During this struggle I received a text on my phone. Who was it? Mister Jim Rayburn. For those of you that do not know, Jim has been the biggest blessing to me both from a training, running standpoint but more so as someone who unlocked inside of me what I could not undo. Jim showed me how to become more than I thought I could be both in life and running.

His text read something like… "keep on running when you can, you will be back before you know it" What an awesome message to receive. Especially considering the thoughts I was struggling with at the time. He then proceeded to ask "wanna go for a slow run on thursday around 4?" 

At that very moment I realized that what I am doing now is all that I can do. One day on top of another they blend. I give my very best each day with that I have to offer. With honesty and no corners cut, the days WILL add up. Each day is a creation. Each day is an expression. Over time they will unfold and out the other side will come my goal. I will be free to rest in knowing I did my best. 

Will I win the race? Will I even complete it? I am going to do everything I can to make sure they both will happen. But my hope is in my daily dedication that even IF neither comes to be true I can walk away satisfied having lived truth and honesty. Jim is a true friend. Jeremy is a true friend. Seems fitting they showed up at just the right time. At the time I was doubting all that is right. My days on top of days are not just me. They are my friends. They are my family. They are the woods. They are the food I eat. They are the story, the drama and the hope. 

My hope is that as I learn these lessons with regards to training for Pine to Palm 100 I will be able to apply the same honesty,creativity,hope and passion to other areas of my life. I want to be more honest. I want to have more hope. I want to have more passion. I want the dream to unfold. Rich, right and good.

Cheers,

Jess